Written by guest writer and herbalist Taylor Jeffers for Herban Wellness.
Edited by Katya Difani.
Part of the human experience is to bear witness to our own grief and loss. Grieving is such a personalized experience and can leave us sorting through many emotions, often all at once. The goal is not to use herbs in a way that numbs this process, but to provide clarity, tranquility, and hope.
Herbs
Herbs are heart-centered in their approach. They can soften the blow by soothing the nervous system, especially when we feel overwhelmed and unable to go on. Rose is particular for comforting the heart, allowing it to remain open while suffering from loss of a relationship, job, or the death of a loved one. Feeling disheartened and weighed down by this kind of pain can be alleviated with borage; a plant known for encouraging resilience. When stress and tension creeps in linden, skullcap, kava root, and oats will ease you back into a more peaceful rested state.
Self-care during times of grief are essential. Find solace in brewing a cup of any of the herbs listed above, or our Chill Out Tea, which features many herbs that relax the mind and body. An herbal tincture (liquid extract) of any of the above herbs can be added to water or juice as well. Or draw yourself a bath that infuses any one of the plants mentioned above. You can also have fresh rose flowers in your space.
Herbal Bath Blend for Heartache:

  • 2 parts linden
  • 1 part rose
  • 1 part lavender
  • ½ part borage & sage

Add ¼ cup of herbs to a cotton muslin bag to infuse in the bath water. Or add 1/4 cup of herbs to a quart of just-boiled water and steep 15-20 mins. Strain and pour into bath water. 
For those who are overcome by the sometimes intense waves of emotions, finding energy to brew tea or a take a bath may prove to be too difficult. Having an herbal tincture on hand such as our Chill Out Drops or Heart Mender Drops will simplify the healing process. The herbs featured in these formulas are intended to calm, soothe, protect, and uplift. Reach for our Chill Out Drops when you feel frazzled, shaken up or overwhelmed or reach for our Heart Mender Drops when heavy heartedness or trauma has overcome you. These can be added to a little water or juice.
Flower essences
Flower essences are unique extractions of the spiritual wisdom flowers embody. These are not herbal tinctures working directly on the physical body nor are they a part of the aromatherapy world. They are very specific medicines that work directly with specific mental, emotional, and spiritual states we encounter in our lives and can be of great support in any emotional challenge. We have found when a person feels stuck or has not been able to move forward, flower essences excel at breaking this pattern.
A few key flower essences for grief include Bleeding Heart, Star of Bethlehem, Borage, and Gorse.
Bleeding Heart is employed to strengthen the heart so that painful emotional attachments may be released. Star of Bethlehem is one to always have nearby, as it is an incredible support for the nerve jangling, heart-wrenching, emotionally paralyzing states that ensue when we are delivered bad news. This essence will help us to shed tears in acceptance of what has happened. Again, for those who feel weighed down and unable to go on, borage will lift you up. And for those times when pain seems never-ending and that life can’t possibly get better, gorse will dissolve pessimism and restore hope.
We carry many individual flower essences but because grief often carries many emotions to sort through it can be even more helpful to try a blend. Products that feature these essences and more include Grief Relief Flower Essence Spray & Five Flower Formula. Grief Relief is a blend of flower essences and essential oils that can be misted around the body or sprayed into the mouth to support your grieving process. Five Flower Formula is a famous blend of five flower essences that assist with stress and trauma of any degree. All flower essences are safe for any age and even animals in need. With flower essences, simply place a drop or two under your tongue or add to your water bottle and sip throughout the day. For animals, these essences can be squirted in their mouths, added to their food, or even rubbed into their ears or bellies externally.
Essential Oils
An often overlooked therapeutic remedy is the use of aromatherapy. This rather versatile realm of healing essential oils can provide a level of comfort and grace you didn’t know you were missing. Turn on that diffuser with a few drops of lavender essential oil, steam a few drops of grapefruit or eucalyptus essential oil in the shower, or apply a soothing blend of your choice throughout the day to help you get by. It’s important to note that while there are many oils that can, for example, provide a calming effect, it is truly about which one you connect with and enjoy. One is not necessarily better than another, so try a few to find the ones that put a smile on your face.
Floral essential oils such as lavender, rose, jasmine, or neroli are all comforting oils that are as sweet as a mother’s touch. Others such as cedarwood, pine, or frankincense are useful for quieting the mind that’s consumed with thoughts of “I should have” or “what could have been.” And for when you just need a dose of sunshine, any of the citrus oils are available to give you a boost. Our line of essential oils from Snow Lotus provide an array of single oils as well as many blends that encourage and foster a calm and healing atmosphere. Some blends to check out are Calm Spirit (which can be purchased pure or diluted in a roll-on bottle), Citrus Bliss, Inner Balance, and Spirit Lift.
Kate’s Magik is a line of intention-based aromatherapy products that are intelligently formulated to enrich our experiences. Their anointing oils are yet another way to use essential oils for healing. Anointing our bodies with these oils are literal prayers sent from our own intentions, with the help of plants, into the points of our bodies that need it most. There are many to choose from however Peace & Purification may be helpful when anxiety, stress, or depression hits or Healing may be chosen to relieve shame or guilt which may be blocking our ability to move forward.
Mother Nature provides us with all of the tools necessary to walk through this life feeling supported and loved. Although loss is inevitable, herbalists are here to offer support during challenging transitions. We hope that this information finds you when you need it most and encourages you to sit with your pain; but never alone.